Dear readers,
It's been an awful long time since I've posted pictures or wrote on this blog. Sometimes I lack motivation or simply just forget. But either way, on the times that I do remember to post something, I hope that it brings you joy and inspiration. Lately I have been working on my college applications. I'm hoping to get into an art school in Holland to study photography. I've been so filled with excitement to move to Holland and to start a whole new chapter in my life. It will be so good to be close to my sister, whom I dearly love, not to mention her fiancée whom she is getting married to in August! What a wonderful and joyful wedding it will be. In the midst of all this excitement, I also find myself scared, worried and anxious. Not just about my application or even school, but just about some relationships in my life. I wish I were able to understand better what people go through, why they struggle with things, and also why they respond the way they do. I think it all comes down to the fact that we're all hurt in one way or another and the dangerous part is how far we let it go until it damages us. (I don't want to pretend like I know all the answers or have it all figured out, because I dont. These are just thoughts that float in my mind and gently make its way through my fingers onto my keyboard). It's strange how someone dear to you can hurt you so much but still inspire you. I guess it shows how much they still mean to you that what they say or do still has an impact on your heart. As they talk to you, their words come shooting in like arrows, positive and negative. The negative you excuse them of because you want to love them and see past that; the positive you embrace wholeheartedly as a sign of hope that they still love you somewhere deep in their lost soul. I hope that it won't always be like this. Always trying to convince myself that my life with this person hasn't been a joke; but that it still means something to them, deep down somewhere buried under all the pain; even though they may not feel it. I pray it comes back someday. As for now all I can do is love you the best way I know how and hope that one day you'll feel again.
With all my love,
Stefanie
On the flip side of things; these pictures are from when I was in malaysia and i got to hang out with Tasha. I respect her so much for her bubbly personality and her passion and gift in photography. She is a joy to be with and it was such an opportunity, once again, to hang out with her and take photographs of.
